Friday, July 9, 2010

Lost & Needing Help Badly

Sigh - I never was any good at keeping up with this blog. It amazes me now to look at my last post, life was just fine then, my sweetheart was here, shortly after that post he built me a wonderful lightbox so I could get better photos..... and now he is gone forever.

To make this living hell even worse, today I found out that Social Security froze our bank account, as they were reclaiming the benefit check that had been deposited just a few days after Tim's death. So, on top of this unbearable grief for my darling husband, now I am sitting here with NO income, NO money at all other than $82 on hand, and utility bills that are due.

Read below for more details - but I am desperate here & could use any help that any of my friends could give me. I will gladly consider any donation you can make as a loan & will repay you once I am able to.

If I can squeek through the next 2 to 2 1/2 months, I will receive insurance benefits - but according to OPM, it will take about 3 weeks for the paperwork to get to me, and after I submit everything back to them, it will take about a month before payment is made. (IF the time-table goes as they told me... hopefully it won't take even longer than that.) And at some point after that, I will get a small survivor annuity from my sweetie's retirement plan. So - if I can just make it until I get the insurance, I'll have some breathing room to figure out where to go from there.

I DID already pay my lot rent for this month, and the power bill --- but I still have about $150 in bills due for this month, if I just skip paying the medical insurance. Come Aug. 1st, I'm *hoping* that the park will let me slide on the lot rent for a couple months, until I receive my benefits, but there will still be all the utility bills due again. I'm going to call everyone, but based on past experiences, they don't really cut people much slack, no matter what. I've got some food on hand, and have applied for food stamps, so maybe I'll be OK in that area - it's just trying to get the bills paid for these next 2 months until I get the benefits - they did verify that the benefits are there - it will just take some time to receive them. I HAVE checked to see if there is any 'welfare' type assistance I can get, and food stamps are the only thing I qualify for - most programs are based on having children or other dependents in your care.

Again, I would not be asking for help if I wasn't outright desperate here. I can NOT lose my home & what belongings that Tim & I had. (Nor can I very well sit here w/ power turned off, or water disconnected, etc) I know -- the internet is not a *necessity*, but especially since I can't drive, it is almost a necessity for me -- I've got to be able to have a phone & net access gives me contact with other people, which I really need right now. Again, any donations I get will be considered as loans & I will repay everyone once I have the means to do so.

I just can't believe that they snatched my bank account & took every penny I had left in there (and put it waaaay in the hole, to boot). Just because Tim died a day before the beginning of the month......

On top of all the grief & pain, now I've got to deal with feeling like a moocher too.... this is all getting to be way too much to deal with. Thank you so much for any help you can give.....

IF you do make a donation, the paypal account is one that I've maintained for years now & used periodically when I had any kind of little online venture going, so the name will show up as 'dtrh enterprises' Sheesh, I was just trying to get cranked up to maybe start selling some crafts online again, when all of this happened. I'm going to try to pull myself together enough to maybe get something started as soon as I can, but I'm such an emotional mess right now, I don't know how much I can do in that respect just yet.

thanks for reading.......